My Kitchen Rules or does it?

So, two nights into one of the most hyped food programs going around, second only to Master Chef of course ... and what do I think?
Firstly it is heading the way of most reality programs with bitchy contestants and the added bonus of some Bogans from north of all east coast borders. I get frustrated when reality television sets up people to look bad and South Australia, you are looking real bad.

The first night – NSW offered their best, which was not so exciting for me. Steak and Mash with a few beans, some seared barramundi and a lime cheesecake. There is not much there that excites the palate or inspires.

Tonight, the boys from Victoria strutted their stuff. Now what a handsome pair to start with – and there is the age old question. Are they just housemates or am I just a pervy bugger?

Their menu was too starchy – risotto and pasta as the two feature courses. I like the idea of the lobster risotto but some truffle oil will never a truffle make. The flavour, the texture and the absolute decadence of the truffle can never be matched by oil that is inferior in all ways. Bad mistake fellas.

Then to pasta that wasn’t cooked properly. There are kids that know how to cook pasta whether it is home made or store bought. Its a simple equation that sadly really let them down.

Thanks Christ for chocolate cake – the way to most people’s hearts is by the humble cacao bean and the offerings it produces. But, not for me. However, a total saving grace as it was put together beautifully. I am not convinced these two will make it.

What comes next? A couple of middle aged sisters from Queensland who seem to be lacking a few graces and one can only imagine what they will serve. The frangipani flowers behind the ears in the trailer are enough to make me very scared for next Monday.

Then there is WA – a state and people I am quite fond of. I am not fond, however, of the pair of teachers who seem to think that there is a certain solar presence emanating from somewhere in the downstairs department.

Now.... South Australia. If ever I saw a pair of trumped up, self obsessed wankers, that award goes to this pair. He appears to be a snotty little queen (and being a gay man, I have met on or two of those). The female of the pair strike me as a complete bitch. There, I said it.

I am sure I will get sucked into this show because I know that if there is food on the box, I will watch it. But as Pete Evans has suggested on tonight’s show, they need to aim a little higher.

To date it is ordinary television, infused with some particularly cheesy music to build drama, of which there is none.