My Kitchen Rules or does it?

So, two nights into one of the most hyped food programs going around, second only to Master Chef of course ... and what do I think?
Firstly it is heading the way of most reality programs with bitchy contestants and the added bonus of some Bogans from north of all east coast borders. I get frustrated when reality television sets up people to look bad and South Australia, you are looking real bad.

The first night – NSW offered their best, which was not so exciting for me. Steak and Mash with a few beans, some seared barramundi and a lime cheesecake. There is not much there that excites the palate or inspires.

Tonight, the boys from Victoria strutted their stuff. Now what a handsome pair to start with – and there is the age old question. Are they just housemates or am I just a pervy bugger?

Their menu was too starchy – risotto and pasta as the two feature courses. I like the idea of the lobster risotto but some truffle oil will never a truffle make. The flavour, the texture and the absolute decadence of the truffle can never be matched by oil that is inferior in all ways. Bad mistake fellas.

Then to pasta that wasn’t cooked properly. There are kids that know how to cook pasta whether it is home made or store bought. Its a simple equation that sadly really let them down.

Thanks Christ for chocolate cake – the way to most people’s hearts is by the humble cacao bean and the offerings it produces. But, not for me. However, a total saving grace as it was put together beautifully. I am not convinced these two will make it.

What comes next? A couple of middle aged sisters from Queensland who seem to be lacking a few graces and one can only imagine what they will serve. The frangipani flowers behind the ears in the trailer are enough to make me very scared for next Monday.

Then there is WA – a state and people I am quite fond of. I am not fond, however, of the pair of teachers who seem to think that there is a certain solar presence emanating from somewhere in the downstairs department.

Now.... South Australia. If ever I saw a pair of trumped up, self obsessed wankers, that award goes to this pair. He appears to be a snotty little queen (and being a gay man, I have met on or two of those). The female of the pair strike me as a complete bitch. There, I said it.

I am sure I will get sucked into this show because I know that if there is food on the box, I will watch it. But as Pete Evans has suggested on tonight’s show, they need to aim a little higher.

To date it is ordinary television, infused with some particularly cheesy music to build drama, of which there is none.

We've only just begun....

Last night was Mr SO's (Significant Other) Birthday. I wanted to take him somewhere nice but worried that if I went too high end and special occasion, I would set the bar too high for future outings. So we went off to Mo Vida Acqui. The third of the Mo Vida chain based in Melbourne, Acqui is much larger and quite a different experience from the first two Mo's Vida.

Slightly industrial by design, it is a cool space that has an enormous amount of milk crates as part of its lighting structures - loved these. The rest of the space is eclectic but has a certain cool vibe that the restaurant needs.

Starters - hand filleted anchovies across a cheesy type wafer, with a smoked tomato sorbet. The clash of cold, salty, crispy and sweet was a cracker of a sensation in the gob and one worth trying again. Calamari sandwiches were interestingly presented but supremely morish in the gob as well. Thin strips of good calamari, lightly crumbed and jammed between a small white roll with oodles of aoli and some marinated little green peppers for good measure.

A platter of Jamon was great - introducing new sensations to SO was great... loved watching the Jamon melt on his tongue and the lights come on in his eyes.

Onto a huge dish of Arroz - rice with some duck, Buttafica sausage and chick peas. Its not every day the kitchen happily provides the recipes for anything but the staff were truly good at what they do. Oh- back to the rice - beautifully prepared again, slightly lacking in some kick to match the heat of the sausages and maybe a little more duck wouldnt have gone astray, but all in all, excellent.

Tempted by dessert for all of 30 seconds, we had to decline.

What would I do differently were I in charge? The greeting left both of us cold - we wondered were we intruding? Said person warmed up later when swinging by for a chat and overhearing our comments... and ended up providing us with said sausage recipe. Mark looked after us so very well and was clearly 'of the faith' and seemed to work out that we were somehow 'involved'.

A lovely little Spanish Verdejo was the perfect marriage to the above foods, after a cava starter....

I love Mo Vida - always have - back to the days when Mykal was the man in charge and the perve was as good as the food. The perve is now at CODA but I am a fan of the new Mo Vida Acqui and maybe, it might outstrip the others as my Mo Vida of choice.....

If I were the counting type, a 7.5 of 10 would be something in the ball park.

Tonight - Lucky Coq on High Street for Pizza and Beer before a Gay Ole Cabaret at Red Bennies.